You are looking forward to marrying the person you want by your side for the rest of your life. Unfortunately, whether you want your wedding to be an extravagant event or you just want a simple ceremony, wedding planning can be a stressful experience. Added to the stress of wedding planning are several problems which may arise while planning your special day.
Issues with Date and/or Location
While you may have your heart set on a specific date and location for your wedding, it is important to have some flexibility, particularly if you have your heart set on both a specific date and location or if your dream wedding day does not allow for much advance notice for guests. It is a good idea to present your dream date along with alternate days to close family and friends to make sure there is not a scheduling conflict. While it might not matter if your friend from second grade, whom you have not seen in twenty years, can come to the wedding, your cousin’s college graduation on the same day might cause an issue.
You should also know what you are going to do if your dream location is not available on your desired date. You and your future spouse should discuss whether you would rather change your wedding day or the location. The big key is flexibility, particularly if you are planning a wedding on short notice.
Cost
Many people find weddings cost much more than they had originally anticipated. The key to fighting this is to establish a realistic wedding budget early on. You may even want to make your quoted budget slightly lower than you can actually afford. Then when you let vendors know your budget, you are less likely to go over it.
The key to staying within your budget is deciding what is really important. Sit down with your spouse-to-be, and make a list of different expenses. Establish a budget for each area. While these budgets can be adjusted if one area costs more or less than anticipated, this will help you avoid going too far over your budget. Be willing to sacrifice certain things if they do not fit into the budget. It may be helpful to discuss beforehand as a couple what you are willing to sacrifice to stay within your budget. For example, maybe you are willing to have in-season flowers if the ones you really wanted are too expensive, but you both agree you will not sacrifice the reception dinner baked salmon, even if it means giving up something else.
Input from Friends and Family
While getting input from friends and family can be great, sometimes they fail to realize when their input is hurting rather than helping. Friends who have recently gotten married as well as mothers and mothers-in-law can be among the worst. Friends may think they are helping as they tell you exactly how they did things for their own wedding. Sometimes, though, their help turns into them trying to make your wedding nearly just like theirs, which you likely do not want. Your mother or future mother-in-law might not have had her dream wedding, and she might try to create that through her child. She may also want things to go a certain way simply because that was how things were handled when she got married.
Not offending friends and family while having your wedding your way can be a tricky balance. First, thank them for their input. Be sincere, particularly if they did offer advice or tips that were helpful in the wedding planning process. As tactfully as possible, let them know how you are doing things and that you are not going to do things the way they want. If there is a specific area where you think the person can provide wedding planning help, let the person know. Sometimes, friends and family just want to feel useful, and giving them a responsibility can help to eliminate their interference in other areas of wedding planning.
When planning your wedding, it is important to focus on what is really important. You are marrying the person you love and want to live with for the rest of your life. Even if your wedding does not go as perfectly as you always anticipated, what really matters is the relationship you are forming with this person. Focus on that if the wedding planning gets stressful or overwhelming.